When it became clear that our two grown kids neither knew nor cared too much
where in the world we were, I began to join Jim on his concert tours of the USA.
Although I had been acting as Jim’s agent for 20 years, I had always stayed in
Scotland to keep the home fires burning. I had little idea of what it was like to be on
the road for five weeks at a time.
The first thing that struck me was that there should be some law against flying
across the Atlantic then getting behind the wheel of a hire car and setting off in the
dark, driving on the wrong side of the road. To think Jim did that for years, before
GPS came along, with nothing more than a piece of paper offering instructions such
as “turn left after 13.4 miles” is mind-blowing to me.
Now Jim and I stay our first night in an airport hotel and through our 5000-mile tours
we take turns driving. Whoever is the passenger is on idiot-driver patrol and general
look-out duties. So far, so good, though we do occasionally hear the blares of other
people’s car horns. We want to explain: “Hey, this right-hand-drive stuff is difficult for
us! Come over to Scotland and we’ll peep our horns at you!”
One day we were blown off course in Arizona by a dust storm. We could not get our
UK phones to work and did not know how to find an alternative route. After a while
Jim took charge, striding into a Truck Stop to find a good old-fashioned Rand
McNally map.
He asked the assistant: “Do you have any maps?”
The obliging shop girl said “Yes sir, we do,” and led him off to the map department.
Did I say map department? She took Jim to the mop department. It was an accent
thing.
We’re looking forward to our return to sing our songs in Austin, where Jim has
performed many times and me once. We sing old, middle-aged and new songs from
Scotland, and we try to make you laugh between every song. Come and see if we
can do it. Bring your funny bones, and drive carefully…you don’t know who else is on
the road.
-- Susie Malcolm
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